Mum's The Word

I spent a lot of time last week cogitating about the topic for my next blog. The ideas that crossed my mind ranged from the mirthful experiences in my college (in continuation of my first blog) to the heavy ones like ‘Hindutva’. I also thought of writing about my blissful life in school but later decided against it. As I sat down to write about anything which inaugurates my thought process, a much uncomplicated idea came to my mind about the most cherubic and audacious (arguably) person on this heavenly planet. Yes, I am going to write few things about my angelic Mother (though in a slap-stick way!!). Well I am not going to discourse the love that is shared in the mother-child relationship (for that you can always listen to the famous song from Taare Zameen Par). What I am going to talk about here are rules that every mother sets in her house to keep a check on people living under her domain (well in my case, this kingdom consists of me, my brother and dad too!!).


If you are a girl and are reading this, chances are you would not agree. But read on and I am sure you would be convinced.


Most engineering students have clean habits. They brush their teeth once a week, take bath on Sundays, and wear washed clothes for parties. But as they get closer to their graduation day, this type of ‘cleanliness’ goes for a toss. They are taught to act responsibly by their respected mothers (but I still don’t understand how bathing daily, especially in winters, helps in attaining the sense of responsibility!!). You get to hear a lot of oppressive doses on taking life seriously and on every other matter which has the least amount of significance from our side (my mother usually does this).
Here are some of the sentences I get to hear…

“Come on…I told you not to take the newspaper inside the bathroom?”
(For the God in me, I can’t understand why she (and even my brother) hates me taking the newspaper when I go to the loo.)

“Hey, you left the toilet seat up again!”
(So what, put it down again maa! Of course, I don’t say it in as many words.)

“The walls are all soap. Can’t you pour some water, or be careful while taking bath?”
(The walls are all soap? Good…we don’t need to buy soap for another two years. And anyways what am I supposed to do? Lie down on the floor and take bath?)

“Did you notice the soap box? It is full of water!”
(Yeah right, I was just trying to save water for the rainy day. Or was I trying to make some liquid soap?)

And just when I am done with the ‘bathroom bashing’ I am in the dressing room trying on my new Reebok T-shirt (I am lying, I buy only cheap ones) when she barges in and says: “Just look at your Almirah.”

Time and again, I get to hear scolding from my great mom on a regular basis. Usually these are said in a way that makes you laugh but if you fall to that intrinsic desire of yours, you get to hear a quintessential dialogue that goes like this…
“Hass lo...abhi toh hassi aa rahi hai naa..barbaadi ki taraf jaa rahe ho tum”
(oh my good lord!! how could someone say something like that for such a peculiar thing.. I fail to understand)

Tonight how about lighting a candle for me…

P.S: I still love my mom a lot for these little things and I hope she doesn’t get to know about this from my little brother(otherwise God save me!!)

My First Step

14^th December, 1988. It was the day when I was born. I was born in a hospital because my mom gave birth to me very expectedly, and as far as I remember that was the first and last thing I have done till date on time!!

This idea of blog came across my mind several times but due to IST (i.e. Indian stretchable time) I kept on delaying this pilot project. But today with some problem in my internet connection (thanks to MTNL) and with no movies left for time pass in my pc, I decided to write something for my first blog. I will try to keep the language of my blog very simple not because of you people but since I have access to limited vocabulary. A school friend of mine(popularly known as ‘kuku’) started this blog writing activity few months back and after reading his blog, I also thought of sharing my funny experiences with you people about Jugaad engineering( the mother of all streams in engineering!!) that I am pursuing from a very reputed college( ha-ha..) in Delhi. There are several factors which make this college a reputed (lol!!) one.

The Teachers in my college are very friendly and hilarious. Many of them used to be our seniors sometimes back but as recession came our college management was so kind that it got them placed in our college only!! We as students in our classrooms are grossly engaged in discussing reality shows such as Bigg Boss (btw I don’t understand the duplication of the word ‘g’ in it) with our newly appointed friends cum professors (what the fu%@ man!!) and the likes of Sherlyn Chopra (and many more) in her bikini!!(You can imagine the sight of our classrooms). In our labs, half a million rupees have been spent for us to get practical knowledge but we use those big monstrous type machines to hide from our sincere (lol) teachers to make further plans of the day and criticizing the college, state government and finally our country (especially Gaurav who hates everything in this damn world!!) for this fu!%$@ up life. Studies is the last word that comes into the mind of teachers and students of GTBIT( well this is the name of my college and no more laughing now) but still every student scores full marks in the sessionals held every month(lol..can’t control myself). The reason behind this is the hard work that we put in just before the starting of the exam by writing few things(almost everything for me, chirag and gaurav) on the desk(that include figures, formulae, theory etc) . Then comes the technique of doubling and repeating the questions. This has landed all three of us in some trouble as sometimes the marks obtained become greater than total marks(recently in one subject named ‘EMI’ I scored 31 out of 30…lol!!). Classes are rarely attended by students and more rarely taken by teachers.

The one factor (yes only one!!) that gives me motivation to go college everyday is the girls in my college. Sometimes I feel blessed to be in this college where there is so much greenery (comparable to DU!!) everywhere!! The super girls (also referred to as ‘hoor pariyan’ by Gaurav) keep us occupied all day long in college. There are so many things (from our past experiences) related to girls in our college that I would like to share in my next (hopefully) blog.

But one of my friends Gaurav Sharma needs special mention in this regard (I mean girls). He is a master in judging girls by just looking at some of their special features (I won’t go into the detail of those special features!!). He is a big fan of Bo Derek(well she is a very famous porn star!!) and has created a database(which he updates regularly) of several websites regarding his fascination with the porn stars(In the recent times, he has shown great interest in Bo Derek’s Japanese friends!!). He is going to kill me after reading this but it is worth taking risk.

P.S: All this has been written in good humor but if somebody feels his/her feelings have been hurt, then so be it.